Don’t be insecure.
Insecure people
- Make the worst kind of people in relationships. Because if you’re around someone who’s insecure, you feel insecure. You’re not sure what to say to them or how they’ll take it because their mood is always teetering on the brink. You never know if they can take a joke, so you play it safe and don’t make any.
- Have such low esteem that they don’t respond to compliments and kindness. You may think that you’re lifting someone’s spirits and counter-acting their low self-opinion by telling them good things, but the inside of the insecure person’s head is saying: “la la la la, la la la, you don’t really mean it, la la la, I’m still this this this and this.”
- Lack the confidence necessary to do anything about what they feel insecure for, so it’s easier for them just to wallow in self-pity and pretend that there is something wrong with the world and other people, than themselves. That is why insecure people don’t respond to generosity. They don’t act like that themselves, so they are suspicious of people who do because they don’t understand them. So when you do something nice for an insecure person they’re always thinking “what is he/she doing that for?” or “what are they trying to gain?” And since they feel suspicious they don’t act appreciatively or gratefully which makes other people think “why did I bother?” (Of course, people who do nice things without wanting anything in return, still like to be told ‘thank you’ or feel appreciated!)
- Don’t like being with other people because they have to make an effort. People who are comfortable with themselves don’t care if they have too much to say or not, so they’ll happily sit there telling stories all night making people laugh or sit there quietly taking it all in and not worry how they’re coming across either way; (note: secure people don’t have to be loud). A lot of people might seem insecure because they don’t have many friends, but in reality, they can’t be arsed having friends because it’s too much effort.
- Will always have a few people in their lives who they do want to be around. They latch onto them because they look up to them, feel comfortable around them, and think that they will be liked/loved/popular by being this person’s friend/partner etc. What tends to happen is that because the insecure person fixates on this select few so much, they become needy and clingy.
When making plans, you can always tell the person who hasn’t found their niche in the group because they’ll be like this: “so when are we going out? Yeah? What time? Shall I call you or you call me? It’s ok I’ll call you. Make sure you let me know!”
Insecurity makes people feel uncomfortable!
People don't want to have someone in their company who is needy and clingy. It puts pressure on the one person, who senses the insecure person over-compensating, to naturally back away. Then the insecure person senses the other person's backing away and gets paranoid, so he tries even harder and gets even needier and clingier.
Paranoia and low confidence continue to be result of insecurity, and these things perpetuate the insecurity even more.
If your self-confidence is that low, you won’t say the “right” things and act the “right” way because you’re thinking “what could anyone find interesting in me anyway?” or “why would anyone like me anyway?” You can spot these people a mile off because their body language screams “don’t look at me! Don’t give me attention!” And they phrase everything like it’s a question because they’re afraid of making definite statements.
Insecure people never compliment other people. This is because they hate compliments themselves (they can’t accept them because their paranoia gets in the way), and because they are jealous of people who actually are secure and confident. It takes a really confident person to put aside their own feelings and say “you look great” or “that was a fantastic shot” or “you beat me there! Yeah you destroyed me, I had no chance!” or “you are much better than me at…” This is because secure people don’t mind making other people feel good, because they are comfortable with themselves.
Insecure people on the other hand want everyone to feel as miserable and unconfident as they are. And of course if no one ever has anything nice to say, people won’t like them.
Paranoia, whether is one of the most unattractive qualities. It’s related to jealousy in that sometimes it is justified and the two can be corollaries of each other, but they both have the same effect of driving people away. And when people keep their distance, the insecure person becomes even more paranoid and eventually convinces themselves that they don’t need other people really. They start to invent stories in their mind and see patterns and connections that aren’t really there, and when the slightest word / joke / action seems to correlate to the imagined scenario, the insecure person thinks “A-ha! I’m onto you!” And either backs themselves off from a potential good friend who’s done nothing wrong (remember most insecure people don’t actually want equal friends), or they cling even more to the one (or few) people they idolize (thus making that person feeling trapped and pressured).
Or is it? Can the trap be broken? Can the mind be freed?
Yes.
If you are insecure about your mental self, you can change who you are. You can work on your personality and make it whatever you want to. You can:
learn more
socialize more
become more cultured
try and kick those nasty habits
improve your spelling, math, or language
be a better problem solver
be a more fluent speaker
be better at listening to people.
......
If there is something about you that you feel insecure about, ask yourself: can I change it? If the answer is yes, then do it! If the answer is no, then is it really worth worrying over?
The same goes for your physical self.
Are you overweight TO THE POINT OF HAVING TO USE A POWER CHAIR IN THE GROCERY STORE???
DO YOU REALLY HAVE THAT LITTLE SELF RESPECT?
NEVER MIND WHO GOT YOU THERE, THE FACT IS THAT YOU ARE STILL THERE AND KEEP REPLAYING THE NIGHTMARE!!!
LOOK INSIDE OF YOURSELF FOR THE ANSWERS AND STOP LOOKING TO OTHERS!
It’s your body and your mind and you’ve only got this one life. So make it the best...EVER!
If you think that there is something that you really can’t change and just have to live with, then you either just have to accept yourself for who you are... A TOTAL FUCKING MESS...
OR GO BACK TO SQUARE ONE AND LEARN TO LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF BY LOOKING FOR THE ANSWER WITHIN!!!
FRANKLY THERE ARE NO OTHER OPTIONS AND SUICIDE IS NOT ONE OF THEM!!!
GOD DIDN'T MAKE YOU A MESS, MAN DID!!! HE GAVE YOU THE POWER TO UNDO THE HARM!!! UNDO IT AND... DON'T DISAPPOINT HIM!!!