After being surrounded by people who could not do anything without the input of others (i.e. “how should I tell the boss that I don’t like my job?” “where do I buy a newspaper” “do you think I'm fat? "Do my colors match?”), I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter what others think. It doesn’t matter at all!
It all comes down to this one realization: One day I am going to die.
Someday everyone around me including myself will die. Who knows how, when, or where, but when I'm lying on my death bed about to submit to eternity- how others perceived me isn’t going to be on my mind, it’s going to be what I've done, what I didn’t do and why and how.
It’s not going to matter if the bimbo at the Wal-Mart service booth hates me because I'm being "annoying" when returning something (when it's really do to the fact that she is just fucking lazy). It’s not going to matter if my first five boyfriends dumped me...because my dick was too large. It’s not going to matter if my friend from the fifth grade thought I was fat. It’s not going to fucking matter, period.
What will matter at any point of my journey is if I am satisfied with my self; if I learned something of value from the many situations in my life and used them as tools to improve myself. Despite the outcome, I can never fault myself for trying out a host of things, but only congratulate myself for doing what most people are just too scared to do.
I sometimes think back to of all the time and energy I wasted wondering what others think of me. when I could use this time to make myself better by my own terms and means. Self-esteem starts with the “self”, not others. If I want to, I can do it. Those who think they can’t are just too lazy to try.
After all, seeking continual external validation and asking other people to make decisions or reach conclusions for you is a sign of outright laziness!
Yes, It does take time and effort and above all, organization to sum up all the plusses and minuses and come to a conclusion. BUT IT'S LIKE RIDING A BIKE; ONCE YOU LEARN YOU NEVER FUCKING FORGET!
Let's take driving a car! You could depend on your parents and friends to drive you to the places you need to go or you could take lessons, pass the drivers test, get a license and, of course, a car.
Remember that saying from the bible: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime!"
• define a problem.
• identify all of the options for resolving the program.
• evaluate all of the options identified.
• select the most effective options for your situation.