We’ve all been intimidated by someone; but what if the intimidated -- that’s you, the spineless ass-wipe (at times) -- could become the intimidator?
Just Think: You could be the guy who makes others’ eyes avert to the floor when you walk in the room, and who induces fully grown men to squeal when you make any sudden movements around them.
Remember, there are two distinct styles of intimidation:
1) There's the kind where you don a wife-beater persona, set fire to your neighbor’s cat and possible even your neighbor and eventually get taken away in cuffs and
2) Then there's the kind where you simply dazzle them while a razor-edged suit, woo with your charm and wisdom, and by doing so, make everyone around you feel about two inches tall.
If you’re a man of wit, culture and charm, you don’t need to use brute force or flaunt a criminal record to demonstrate your intimidation-inducing masculinity.
What you need to know about intimidating others with class is that you should never tell someone what they should think of you.
Bragging is the least credible way to go about intimidating someone, and borders on the desperate.
Build your reputation by establishing yourself as a man of values. Resist the urge to crack under peer pressure. Even if you started smoking because your high school friends told you to, it doesn’t mean you have to repeat this pattern in adulthood.
Take charge of your life, your actions and the consequences of your decisions, and say no to things you’d rather not do. It’ll leave quite the strong impression on people, and make them wish they could be as strong as you.
Being independent of social and professional pressure and retaining your
integrity doesn’t make you less manly; in fact, it shows you have balls of
steel and you’re worth having as a friend, employee or mate. Resist the urge
to be self-righteous, however, as that only undermines the values you uphold.
Intimidate through your body language.
At some point in your life, you will find yourself in a confrontational
situation. Instead of shrinking back, use this chance to reaffirm your status as
a man of substance, and to let people know in no uncertain terms that you are
deserving of an intimidating reputation.
The body-language tricks that will help you intimidate people...
The main thing to remember when using your body to intimidate is that just
because you’re in a confrontational situation, it doesn’t mean you need to
launch into a full-on, foul-mouthed tirade. In fact, silence is often golden. So
long as you keep the act up the whole way through, those you’re trying to
intimidate will never know if you’re shaking inside. When those who confront
you can’t read your face, they’ll be genuinely terrified; they won’t know
what you’re thinking or how you’re going to react. Even if you have no
intention of doing them harm, for all they know you could be thinking about
dusting off your black belt in karate.
Exude confidence during a confrontation!
Never lose focus
Narrow your eyes and stare deep into theirs without blinking
Use a cold and controlled voice when you tell them calmly what the problem is and how you’re going to resolve it
Make every facial expression and body gesture calculated, and point at them
like the very touch of your fingertip could floor them. Those who resolve
confrontations in this manner not only intimidate more than those with steam
coming out their ears, but they are also more likely to diffuse the tension in
the most positive way.
On occasion, it doesn’t hurt to demonstrate your rage potential. Let your calm
slip for a moment and explode into a fit of rage before immediately resuming
your poise. This will show that you’re a man capable of both extremities, and
that -- above everything -- you’re in control. There’s nothing more
intimidating than a man in control. People will be forewarned about your
unpredictability, and will tread carefully around you from now on.
Intimidate through your appearance
While you don’t have to look like a bodybuilder to intimidate people, it helps
to keep fit. Join a gym and make the effort to go a couple of times a week. Work
mainly on those areas that are visible to others, such as your shoulders and
arms. If you don’t look like you can physically hold your own, your
intimidation tactics will never be taken as seriously.
Get yourself a smart, tailored suit and use it as your body armor in both your
professional and social life. Before you’ve even done anything, the
connotations of your suit will tell people that you are an intelligent human
being that doesn’t need to get a tattoo and pack an AK-47 to make an
impression. Rather, you intimidate with your wit, charm, education, and
ambition, all topped off with dazzling social skills (and this is before
you’ve even opened your mouth). In your suit, you’ll intimidate even the
toughest guy in the room by slyly revealing a shiny Tiffany & Co. cufflink
as you reach for your drink. Subtlety is key here, however, so keep it on the
low. You don’t want to look sharp but arrive in a tried-looking company car.
You've nailed the look, now use your brains to intimidate people...
Brains over braun
While a strong physical presence certainly helps, intimidation is not all about
the image you project. Sometimes, you need to dig a little deeper. In fact, a
man who can speak five languages and hold his own at a party can be five times
more intimidating than a muscle-clad bruiser with not much between the ears. The
same goes for a man who’s traveled the world, BASE jumped off the Empire State
building and shook hands with the president.
Do something out of your comfort zone, like participating in your local charity
marathon. Really push yourself to the limit, and reaffirm to others that
you’re not afraid to live. It doesn’t have to be physically challenging,
either. You could learn an obscure language or simply be able to talk about
classic books and you’d still make others wish they could do the same.
Break free of that cocoon you’ve built around yourself, and spread your wings
at social gatherings. Be confident that you look good and that you’ve got
something relatively intelligent to say (you can even prepare a list of topics
beforehand). Make yourself approachable with open body gestures, smile if
somebody looks over and, for God’s sake, move out of that dark corner.
During conversation, play up your strong points. For example, if you are
well-traveled, talk about last year’s trip to the Far East or, if you have an
interest in culture, talk about an art exhibition you caught recently. After
all, intimidation is best achieved by being at ease with what you’re saying
and what you’re doing, so stick with what you know.
More importantly, perhaps, underplay your weaknesses; if you know you’re no
good at pool, don’t accept the challenge from someone. Don’t expose a
weakness and tell them you’re a bad player, however. Instead, highlight
another strength -- basketball perhaps -- and tell them you’d happily have a
game with them.
Once you have people’s attention and have drawn them in through your
knowledgeable banter, highlight others' ignorance by catching them off-guard.
Talk to them about a news piece you saw that morning, and then ask them what
they think of the current political situation in wherever-it-may-be. Chances are
they won’t have a clue, and will stumble over their own words in order to
wrangle their way out of the situation. This method is particularly useful if
you’re with a group of guys who are pining after a single girl: Pick the guys
off one by one, watch them drop like flies and then enjoy the one-on-one
conversation with the object of your desire.
the inside of intimidation
Ultimately, it is confidence that is the true intimidator of others. That's why
intimidating individuals is best achieved by those who are confident in
themselves, physically, socially and emotionally, those who learn to live with
their insecurities, and capitalize on their good points, and those who realize
early that everyone is flawed, and that the quarterback at the bar is just as
insecure inside as the nerd sitting next to him. Essentially, everyday life is a
power game between the different members of the human species, and it is a game
you must learn if you’re going to intimidate rather than be intimidated.