Don’t be insecure.
Relationships with insecure people suck, because if you’re around someone who’s insecure, you too will feel insecure.
Due to the fact that an insecure person's mood is always vacillating, you’re not sure what to say to them or how they’ll take it. You never know if they can take a joke, so you play it safe and don’t make any.
Insecure people sometimes have such a low esteem that they don’t respond at all to compliments and kindness. You may think that you can lift someone’s spirits and counter-act their low self-opinion by simply telling them good things about themselves and their worth, but the inside of that insecure person’s head may still be saying: “la la la la, la la la, you don’t really mean it, la la la, I’m still a fat stupid piece of shit.”
Some insecure people lack the confidence necessary to do anything about what they feel insecure about, so it’s easier for them just to wallow in self-pity and pretend that there is something wrong with the rest of the world and not them.
Insecure people don’t respond well to generosity, simply because they themselves don’t act like that. They are suspicious of people who are generous because they don’t understand them. They’re always thinking “what is he/she doing that for?” or “what are they trying to gain?”
And since Insecure people feel suspicious they don’t respond appreciatively or gratefully which makes the people reaching out to them think “why the fuck did I even bother?” (BECAUSE, people who do nice things without wanting anything in return, still like to feel appreciated and be told ‘thank you’ THAT'S A GOLDEN RULE!)
Insecure people don’t like being with other people because they have to make an effort. It is simply easier for them to be couch potatoes and stay glued to their TV sets.
People who are comfortable with themselves don’t care if they have a lot to say or nothing to say. They’ll just sit there happily telling people stories and making laugh or sit there quietly taking it all in and not worrying about how they’re coming across.
Some Insecure people will always have a few certain people in their lives who they do want to be around. They latch onto them because they look up to them, feel comfortable around them, and think that they will be liked/loved/popular by being this person’s friend/partner etc. What tends to happen is that because the insecure person fixates on this select few so much, they become needy and clingy. These people will also never try to associate with a broader scope of society.
This can be seen with some boys who graduated high school together, marry their high school sweethearts, still hang around in their high school clicks and relive high school until death do them part.
When making plans, you can always tell the person who hasn’t found their niche in the group because they’ll be like this: “so when are we going out? Yeah? What time? Shall I call you or you call me? It’s ok I’ll call you. Make sure you let me know!”
They wouldn't want to offend other click members or alienate themselves from the click because they depend on this click for external validation.
Paranoia, delusions of persecution, and low confidence continue to be result of insecurity, and these things perpetuate the insecurity even more.
If your self-confidence is that low, you somehow feel that you won’t say the “right” things or act the “right” way because you’re thinking “what could anyone find interesting in me anyway?” or “why would anyone like me anyway?” These people stand out like a sore thumb because their body language screams “don’t look at me! Don’t give me attention!” And they phrase everything like it’s a question because they’re afraid of making definite statements.
Insecure people never compliment other people. This is because they hate compliments themselves (they can’t accept them because of their delusions of persecution, (their paranoia) get in the way).
Insecure people are jealous of people who actually are secure and confident and will try anything to bring them down to their level.
It takes a really confident person to put aside their own feelings and say “you look great” because secure people don’t mind making other people feel good, because they are already comfortable with themselves any maybe just want to spread the joy.
Insecure people want everyone to feel as miserable and unconfident as they are. And of course if no one ever has anything nice to say, people won’t like them.
Paranoia is one of the most unattractive qualities.
It’s related to jealousy and both have the same effect of driving people away.
Insecure people start to invent stories in their mind and see patterns and connections that aren’t really there, and when the slightest word / joke / action seems to correlate to the imagined scenario, the insecure person thinks “A-ha! I’m onto you!” And either backs themselves off from a potential good friend who’s done nothing wrong (remember most insecure people don’t actually want equal friends), or they cling even more to the one (or few) people they idolize.
If you are insecure about your mental self, you can really change who you are. You can work on your personality and make it whatever you want to. You can:
learn more
socialize more
become more cultured
try and kick those nasty habits
improve your spelling, math, or language
become a better problem solver
become a more fluent speaker
become better at listening to people.
SOMEHOW LEARN TO COMPLETELY LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE
If there is something that you feel insecure about, ask
yourself: can I change it?
If the answer is yes, then do it!
If the answer is no, then stop worrying about it!
The same goes for your physical self. Are you underweight, or are you overweight? Do you need to tone up? Do you need to shed some kilos?
If there is something that you really can’t or don't want to change about yourself, then you just have to learn to live with it and accept and LOVE yourself for who you are.
If you do that, and NEVER let those things bother you, they won’t bother other people either.
If you are AOK with yourself, other secure people will be too! They will accept you and like you for who you are, and that will make you feel good!
YET BE AWARE, ANY ASSOCIATIONS FROM YOUR INSECURE CLICK WILL TRY TO DRAW YOU BACK INTO THEIR REALM BY PRESSING YOUR BUTTONS. YET, ONCE YOU CLIP THE CONNECTIONS TO THESE BUTTONS, THEY WILL NOT FUNCTION AND THAT INSECURE CLICK FROM YOUR PAST WILL FADE MUCH LIKE THE SMELL OF INTESTINAL GAS ON A WINDY DAY!
WHEN YOU FEEL SECURE, people will sense your confidence and how at peace you are with yourself, and that will make them feel good! They will want to be around you and invite you out before you even have a chance to ask! This will make you feel comfortable around people and secure around them, thus fuelling how good you make them feel, making them like you even more, which will make you more confident –